Monday, August 29, 2011

I lost myself somewhere along the way....

So I tried the whole blogging by phone thing today and well it bombed majorly! So here I go...

I lost myself 5 months ago...

I lost who I was and what I wanted in life. I felt like I was a completely different person! I am getting better now. Not 100% yet but better. I don't really know what happened to me. I think I became depressed with my life and what it had become. I started to feel sorry for myself instead of proactively trying to change it. I let so many things drag me down and before long I was no longer me.... I was only a shell of my former self... I don't know if any of this is making sense... But my point is I have had a difficult 5 months....

I have lost my job of 6 years... I have a new job now (Praise God) It doesn't pay nearly as well as my last job but it's a job... After losing my job I realized that I haven't doen anything with my life... I felt like a failure in so many ways... My eyes have been opened to the things and people around me and I have finally decided to take the plunge and apply to college's in my area. For the longest time I have wanted to major in business and now I have found my true calling! I want to be an Elementary School teacher... I want to help mold the young minds of our future! I am very excited about this new challenge I have put before myself and if it is God's will I know I will accomplish it! So I will attend school for my degree in elementary education with a minor in art... So now all I have to do is actually apply to these schools... This scares me to death but I feel it's time to step outside my comfort zone and more on to bigger and better things. And well I don't have it all figured out I have but a small part one step in the right dirrection.... And honestly as long as I have God in my life I can only go up. I just need to keep my focus on him and know that if I do then nothing is unattainable!! So here's to a new better verison of me... One molded by God's love and never ending grace....

5 comments:

haley shumway said...

You will make an amazing teacher!!! I totally see it. I wish you had let me know about how you were having a hard time. Everyone feels like that sometimes. It helps to hear it from other people and be prayed for and encouraged to get back on track. I hope someone did that for you. I love you!!

Jhenna said...

Thank you Haley!!! I didn't want help or encouragement... I was so lost and I just wanted to be left alone! I wish I would've come to you and had someone to talk to.. I could use those prayers now :) I love you too girl! Thank you for caring about me...

Patti said...

I cried a little when I read this, because this is happening to me too, and I know how hard it is when work isn't going the way you want it too. But hang in there, it sounds like you're on the right path. I don't you, except through your blog, but it sounds like you'll make a great teacher.

:D

jennaseverythingblog said...

I know you posted this a while back, but I hope that you have found a happier place in yourself! It's scary to question our lives and what the heck we're even doing, but it's great that in the time of difficulty your dream to become a teacher was able to blossom. I wish you the best!

Jhenna said...

Thank you patty :-) its nice to know I'm not the only one out there that finds herself struggling!

Thank you Jenna :-) I have found a much happier place and am almost always joyful now! I have so much to blog about. I will have to make time really soon to update it :)

Thank you for checking out my blog :) I will be checking yours out as soon as Im done writing this comment...